Feelings & The Goddess

Winter is about turning within, hibernating and getting more sleep. Winter is a time of inner change. Spring is a time for awakening from the slumber, to put into action those inner changes that have ooccured during the darker months that lead us internal. Right now you are being asked to Step Up and Step Out. The energies of the Universe are really shifting you to become that part of the Feminine Goddess, that of realising the Truth of your Self-Worth and giving yourself that Self-Love and Self-Nurturing you so deserve as your birthright. She is stirring up the mud, lifting all those veils of illusion urging you to get out all that stuff you have swept under the carpet, perhaps from many years ago. 

You may be finding it challenging with deep unhealed wounds coming to the surface. You are being asked to notice these wounds and work on feeling the unfelt feelings that are rising up, that can no longer be supressed. The Feminine Goddess is asking you to release those beliefs of low self worth, low self esteem, to release those feelings through crying, grieving and acknowledging those unmet needs that stem from childhood. To acknowledge that - “Yes, I do have needs, that I did have needs at that time and they went unmet.” Know that those needs are important and that yes you matter right now. For you to shed tears of the hurt you felt at that time, for the pain that is held inside is deep and strong and very capable of running our reactions and actions to life and those people that stir these unhealed wounds in our present day.  To realise and choose whether playing the ‘victim’ role is really working for you in your life, to step up and really take responsibility for the choices you make in your daily life that relate to every area of your life – from the food you put in your body, to the amount of self-care you give yourself, to the awareness of what people make your energy feel drained and really make an integral choice of how and where you are focusing your energy.

You may be noticing these wounds, through physical pain or you may be feeling them on the emotional level and perhaps it is even both. You may be finding that the pain from these wounds is too strong, too painful and so you delve into another type of pain, a control pattern/addiction that shifts you into a second type of pain. A control pattern/addiction is something you use to cover up that seemingly unbearable pain, whether that be through a certain type of food - or lots of food (overeating), drinking, drugs, excess television viewing or computer time, excess sleeping, keeping busy etc, the modality is endless. But the second pain that covers up the unbearable pain seems bearable as it is something that you have probably done for years. It is probably something you were taught when you were young – to stop crying for example – you never got a chance to really experience that ‘emotional pain’ as you were told to stop crying and be happy – you were distracted from that pain, through being taught to use food, or ‘look can you see the birdie?’ – anything to stop you from crying - from allowing you to experience and be accepted in that first pain.

When you stop and ask yourself what it is that you really get out of moving into the second pain, and sometimes doing this can be so habitual, you don’t even know you are doing it, but when you start to become conscious that you are doing it, have you asked yourself what you get from it? What feelings arise? Is it a sense of relief (momentarily) then perhaps guilt, anger, rage, sadness, numbness – ‘I did it again’? How long does it take before the first original pain comes back and you move into the second pain, yet once again starting the cycle of unbearable pain.What happens when you stop and actually let yourself experience that first pain? Is it as bad as what you really expect? Or is it not the big bad ugly monster that it seems to be? Is it a feeling of crying, anger, sadness or rage? Is it these feelings (crying, anger, sadness, rage) that feel uncomfortable and you would rather jump into your second pain/addiction, because the feeling of crying, anger, sadness or rage is too unbearable because you were taught to distract yourself when you were young? Is that it? Is it just another emotion to experience, to move through your body just like that of happiness and joy? Perhaps it is deep, perhaps a big full blown cry and rage will allow you to experience, finally FEEL and move through and heal/release that darn feeling that seems to be running your life? Is that all it is – a feeling?

When you choose to jump into that second pain (control pattern/addiction) – and yes it is a choice, whether that choice is conscious or unconscious, you are abandoning yourself. You are abandoning that inner child within you, that child from your youth that is you, that didn’t get that love, nurturing, support that you needed as a child in one or more particular times in your life. When you turn to your control pattern/addiction, you are again saying to your inner child (generally) ‘I don’t have time to listen to you.’ Sending a message that they are not worthy of your time. Is that what you want to keep on doing? Abandoning yourself for more pain? Perhaps you are addicted to the pain, as it is the only way we know to feel Love. Is that really Love? Is that Healthy Love?

Imagine you are having a cup of tea with a friend. You are chatting and then she starts breaking down crying and saying how terrible she feels and bad her life is going. Do you tell her ‘Its okay, look outside can you see the birdie, here, here is a biscuit?’ and change the subject? Or do you sit there and listen to her and empathise with her, saying it is alright to cry and be sad, get it all out? Then why on earth do we distract, ignore or belittle our children when they are crying/upset/angry? Children have just as many if not more feelings than us. Children are a lot smarter and understand a lot more than majority of the population give them credit for. And our children are our future. By distracting, ignoring or belittling your child from their feelings when upset you are sending them a message that only a part of themselves are acceptable. By empathetically listening, you are embracing all of your child. To have a present person to sit with them and allow them to cry and express those big feelings (crying, raging, anger), it allows them to move through those feelings and release them. Thus bringing them back to a state of calmness and peace that allows them to learn, grow and flourish like every parent wants for their child.

When you realise that your own control patterns/addictions are alive, you have a choice to consciously work on healing and returning to wholeness. The clearer you are, the clearer your children are. The clearer you are, the more present you can be for your children. So many layers are being peeled back right now, in our life personally and on a global level. They stated that there was a significant increase in the number of people who voted Greens this year and our government was a hung vote. What does that tell you? People are starting to question – and the answers are coming. Like a close friend said to me once, “It is like peeling the layers of an onion back.” The more we uncover, the more we uncover.

Louise L Hay states, “Feelings are thoughts in motion in the body. The word emotion, doesn’t have the word Motion in it for no reason.” When you start to change your thoughts, start to become aware that you have a choice to choose to be happy, and yes, happiness is a choice, then you can begin to watch your world transform. Old beliefs will come up to be challenged and know that when they are coming up it is because you are rewiring your brain with your new thought patterns. Change is the only constant thing – Mother Nature knows this and when you open yourself up to changing – your life transforms in the way you have been asking – whether that be more physical energy, or better health. If you don’t dig the up the garden to put healthy soil into it, if you don’t pull the weeds out, it won’t grow to it’s full potential and offer you the healthiest fruit to eat. Your body and your life is no different.

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To truly hear and be present with someone else's feelings, you need to be comfortable with your own.