Trust your Guidance

I am in a very different position to where I thought I would be, just eight months ago. Moving house after coming out of denial around my financial position and where I was placing my energy, was a very big wake up call. I know I am exactly where I am meant to be, but it just wasn't where I was expecting! 

I now live in a smaller house, where the rent is easily affordable. (And there are trees in my back yard now and I love this!) I also now have a casual retail job, which is enabling me to afford and pay all my expenses. So, cheaper rent and another source of regular income has been two major changes. I have a twelve month lease and know that I signed twelve months for a reason. There is a reason to every choice you make - even if you don't know why at the time!

In February this year, I was guided not to teach Yoga or do Consultations right now.  When I first got this guidance, I was in shock... "You want me to what???? Not do, what I thought I was 'supposed' to be doing with my life???" I went through a process about this. And when I came to peace about it, I realised that oh, actually, this is a good thing! It isn't like I will not be teaching forever, but right now, having a break from it is a good thing. I came to realise that I was teaching yoga and doing consultations as a main source of income and this I was resentful for. When I woke up out of denial, I realised that it was darn hard work and I deep down I wasn't enjoying it. Not because I didn't love what I did, but because it was my source of income that was sparadic and didn't cover my (denially huge) expenses. 

I am very grateful for this waking up out of denial. And I thank teaching Level 1 of the Lightworker Practitioner Training and the Lightfilled Yoga for that! That divine space I created at Little Mountain was a birthing place for many ideas, feelings and visions that I have for my dream retreat. And that dream, is still well and truly alive. I just wanted it all now!! We all know that all good things come in time, and when you are taking steps EVERYDAY towards that dream, that is how they come about, they don't just appear out of thin air. (At least not in this level of consciousness/manifestation we are currently in!) My big dream is still there in my current vision and these are the steps I am being guided to take to get me where I am wanting to go. Trusting that, even though at the beginning I didn't see how!

When I came to Peace around not teaching or facilitating right now, I had a big realisation. I realised that I had my energy in what seemed like a million things and I was burnt out! I was teaching yoga, facilitating workshops, Lightworker consultations, running playgroups and meet ups, being a mother, running a household, finding/sourcing income (from where?), writing newsletters, finding time for myself (?!?), no wonder I was feeling resentful! The big wake up call was this - I need to just focus my energy on these things 1. Me time 2. Being a mother 3. My relationship with Rasmus 4. Work 5. Writing my book. There. Five things. Look I can count them on one hand. Five. Ah, five things, on one hand, this is all I can handle, one hand, handle! And there it was. I was in awe, because these five things, related to the Wheel of Wholeness from Level 2 of the Lightworker Practitioner Training, (Page 46 in the Training Manual, Level 2, The Lightfilled Relationship). The five (lucky number again!), from the Wheel of Wholeness are 1. Self Love 2. Self Protection 3. Self Awareness 4. Self Care 5. Self Moderation. This was such a lightbulb moment. It made complete sense.

And so it is. It feels so right to be only focusing on these things right now. I am needing to financially support myself and my daughter, and work is releasing the stress of "Where is the money coming from to pay these bills?" With this freedom and ease of knowing I can cover all my expenses, it is freeing up my energy for other things. I am enjoying being a mum now (sounds strange I know!), with my energy free of worry how I am going to cover all my expenses, I actually want to and really enjoy spending time with Adaya and doing more activities with her. I find that I am more present with her. I am loving my new relationship also and how that is also divinely affecting my life. The major thing that is giving me energy for every other area of my life, is that I am now writing my book. I have been saying it for so long and now I am writing it. All I want to do is focus my entire energy on my book and finish it. So that is what I am doing. And that is what I feel I am being guided to do right now. Focus on these five things. It feels that my energy can handle these five things. If I am to teach yoga again, then something needs to drop from one of those five first. Having my iron in too many fires cause internal resentment, almost depression like and I am so grateful for this wake up call, hence me sharing "Handling the Five" here. 

So let's look at what the number five means from Doreen Virtue's Angel Numbers 101: "A significant change is occurring, always for the better. It's a good idea to call upon Heaven for help with life changes."

Oh yes, life changes alright. So I am here sharing this with you, to let you know what is happening at Reality Awareness. I feel like there is an internal hibernation going on at Reality Awareness. Not a finishing, but a sleeping, a deep sleep that is stirring wonders, bringing those dreams down to Earth, to awaken to a new dawn by the end of the year. I am trusting the guidance that I receive each day, for each day is a new day and I listen intently to what the next step is. Right now, that is completing my book. Anything else that I am guided to do, will be shared through this blog, email and through our facebook page. Mums Meet ups will still happen when they feel alive and I am more than happy to attend other groups, should we be available for them. Lightworker Practitioner Training is available online right now. If you need any more information, please contact me through my website. 

Go get your dreams.
Love Hannah.