I’ve been so depressed because I wasn’t listening to my intuition. The irony right?!Jul 13, 2021
I’ve been so depressed because I wasn’t listening to my intuition. The irony right?!
We always live what we teach and our Life Purpose is based on our passion and has DEEP stems into what you we have lived, walked through and literally died and have been reborn from.
The things that take us to the darkest places - are our training grounds, our initiations.
You don't learn your Life Purpose in any course or from any mentor.
You learn it from what you have walked through and come out the other side of - or are STILL coming out the other side of.
Your Life Purpose is always birthed from your experience. The things you know everything about. The things you rattle off and don't even think about it. The things you know like the back of your hand and you wonder how that is not normal for other people to think like you do about the thing.
A course, a mentor - helps you uncover yourself, helps you see the blind spots and gives you tools, guidance and support to remove that black cloak to help you see who you are, how amazing, how powerful, how special, how in tune you really are.
I’ve been so depressed because I wasn’t listening to my intuition. The irony right?!
I feel like I have woken up. I feel like I have been in a slumber. I had forgotten who I was. I am not quite sure where I went. I am not quite sure what happened. I guess ultimately, I could name several things of what I think it is/was. And yet... none of it really matters once you feel that feeling of being free... of being OUT.. of coming into deep alignment with myself again and remembering who the fuck I am, doing things that light me up, doing things that make me laugh and smile again - cause fuck, it seems like a long time since I have felt happy these last few years.
Maybe it was the huge change that sent us on the 5 month road trip looking for our 'Home' amongst the world chaos.
Was I ever not listening to my intuition?
Not really. I always was. Always am. But sometimes I even doubt myself. However, I have learnt to keep walking through it, to acknowledge the doubt and keep walking forward no matter what.
This last 5 Years of stumbling along, figuring out my online business, not just as a Solopreneur moving to Entrepreneur, not just as figuring out this online gig, but also as an Intuitive Healer & Life Purpose Mentor.....
Not even... just as an Intuitive Healer & Life Purpose Mentor - but as a highly sensitive - deeply flowy - incredibly intuitive and won't lock down into any structure, routine, strict 'do it this way 9-5' business and trying to figure out how someone who is so floaty and out of the systems of how our current modern day Earth functions let alone a business - to trying to channel that creative, extremely acutely intune intuitive energy frequency into a 3D business structure?!?!
What a journey THAT has been all in itself.
Let alone understanding how Wealth Creation Works.
Let alone understanding how a Company moving into multiple Companies works.
Let alone receiving HELP in my business and life in general over the years (you know, those highly empathic intuitives that do it ALL on their own and are soooo strict, structured and ultimate perfectionists that are more detrimental to their own criticisms than feeling safe to let anyone into their field and they say they want a loving relationship! 🙄 - THIS! Is what I had to work through.
After walking this path dedicatedly since 2005, because I was unable to hold a normal day job in all these years, to building Reality Awareness PURELY Online in the last 5 years has stretched me more than anything ever before.
After walking this path since 2005 and building online this last 5 years I can safely say that Entrepreneurship is the highest form of Personal Development! #handsdown
I have had to learn to keep my heart open - and that has required me to trust my intuition over what anyone else has said about me or to me about anything I have shared or just simply talking! 🙄
I have had to learn to even open my heart, let alone now learning to KEEP it open - especially when people talk negatively about me.
"It doesn't matter what people believe about you, it matters what you believe about yourself."
I feel like I have come out of a slumber, I feel like I have been off path for quite some time. I feel like I have walked out of a hurricane and now picking up the pieces and processing what just happened, whilst realising the biggest thing EVER.
Actually realising who I am.
Not just thinking it - but TRULY SEEING MYSELF.
I am here to help you realise the truth of WHO YOU ARE.
Spending time in my energy, whether online or in person - WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN without me even saying a word... or just saying a few.
The other biggest realisation that I have come to deeply embed, embody and realise?
Is that I make your unconscious stuff SURFACE.
The pieces you have buried and project onto the world that you can't see right inside of your own damn body (sometimes it is so in your face you turn your own blind eye to yourself!)
I have come to realise that when people 'reject' me, when they walk away from me, when they talk negatively about me, when they keep reading my content, checking my profile, waking up at all times during the night because of what has surfaced for them, but still blame me for it (yes, I see you, it is my Gift you know... I know exactly what you are doing). Talk about pot calling the kettle black! 🙄 Let alone anyone who blames me for their own emotions surfacing because they have spoken to me. Yes, of course. The way you feel is MY fault. ffs. Don't get me started.
People call me a witch. Lookout - I will put a spell on you.
A spell that makes you WAKE THE FUCK UP.
That's my Gift.
That is what I do.
THAT'S the spell!
That was GIVEN to me - Awakening the Consciousness of Humanity in 2005.
That is what happens when you come near me, read my content, spend time with me, speak to me and more.
I have come to learn that when I am 'rejected' by people - it is because this... is too much for them.
Realising the Truth of WHO THEY ARE is too much for them.
Some can handle it in small doses, some not at all, some leave loudly, some quietly, some look on from the distance.
Some walk right there with me because they too - are an Ancient Blooded Healer - we've walked this Earth since the beginning of Time.
They are not ready to realise the Truth of Who They Are. That - is my Gift to you. That - is my Gift to the World.
I make the unconscious conscious in your life.
I do it naturally.
I do it without even thinking about it.
I screw my nose up and wonder wtf is going on here when it has taken me SEVERAL YEARS - to understand this concept and what is ACTUALLY going on..
Is that I have a natural gift for this - making you see what you have buried, sooooo deep inside of you, it scares you, you feel sick trying to bury it back down because God forbid, you want to feel that level of pain this moment right? And yet, you blame me for the way you are feeling 🙄
It has taken me YEARS to understand what is REALLY going on.
It has taken me YEARS of pain to realise the rejection I felt from people time and time again in all different walks of life - was not to do with the fact that I AM too much... no... none of that.. nothing to do with me.
But ALL to do with me.
Now that I understand the depth of my Gift - that triggers even the most successful of people.... that what is happening?
People come to me when they are ready to shed another skin. They are ready to see layers upon layers upon layers of stuff that they think they know who they are, but I show them - most times without even saying much at all, if any - how much they don't realise about themselves yet.
I am Lapis Lazuli after all 💎🐍
What's even scarier (🙄) is that I make sense of it ALL for them.
And this... took me so much pain, so much therapy, so much money, so much mentoring - trying to figure this out.
Then one day... from a serious of YEARS all leading up to this one day moment... it ALL became clear.
And I OWNED who the fuck I am.
And from that day?
My insides changed.
I FELT different inside.
I was no longer running on adrenaline. I was no longer PUSHING and have to achieve goals... they just happen with effortless ease #nojoke (I used to PUSH and BURN - not anymore)
I was no longer burning adrenaline trauma fuelled bridges with everyone I crossed because I had a my way or the highway attitude, let alone controlled my environment around me to try and feel some sort of safety and god forbid anyone get close to me who tried to break those barriers down!
I realised I actually LOVE Humans and People, not hate them.
I was softer... on the inside and with myself...
I felt SAFE to OPEN MY HEART again and my maintenance now - is KEEPING it open - including in the face of adversity (Shadow Work #realtime - not just when you're on your mat meditating in the safety walls of your own comfortable home)
Did you know, that when I came online and just started fumbling around - actually, it wasn't fumbling around - it was turning the fuck up and doing the next intuitive thing I was guided to do - even when it didn't make sense. #repeat and #keepgoing and look where I am now because of it and that?
Is the secret to success.
Sure, learn business strategies along the way. (Which is what I teach in my Life Purpose Accelerator Mentoring Program) That - as a highly sensitive empath that doesn't like to feel trapped or held down or structured in any which way shape or form I think is why a lot of intuitive's don't make it online or in business - because they are not willing to invest in themselves and actually learn about the things that are going to leverage their time, resources, energy and business! Let alone actually DO BUSINESS in the 3D world, whilst using the spiritual manifestation practises - not just one or the other! There is both, masculine and feminine to business.
The feminine.... is where I have learnt to be soft and strong at the same time... is where I have learnt I have to open and keep my heart open and that, was one of the most excruciatingly painful experiences ever - realising how much the years of trying to figure it out and following the one next thing in my business, step by step whilst dealing with the fallout of the rest of my life as I continually have up-levelled had actually closed my HEART!
Keeping that open now?? - THAT is a skill I now realise I have THAT is what I have realised... triggers the fuck out people.
THAT is what I have realised - is me... seeing myself.
Seeing who I really am.
SEEING WHO I HAVE BECOME from this 5 years of dedicated, purely soul led committed Entrepreneurship.
I have invested over $60kAUD over the years, the last $50k of that in the last 5 years online, alongside another $80kAUD in other investments in the last 3 years that have all led me to where I am now.
I see people posting a lot of the time about how much they have invested with mentors over the years and always used to brush it off. Now, I see the value of it, now I understand it - because I have walked it, lived it and definitely wouldn't be in this space I am now, I wouldn't have broken out of the hardest cycle of my entire life without a dedicated mentor that I up-leveled the fuck out of my life with that energetic container by my side.
Was it easy? No.
Could I afford it at the time? Um, definitely, definitely not. I was paying $2,500USD/mth to my mentor well before my business was even earning $5k a month! #huge
Would I be earning the income, have the business structures, company systems, and lifestyle I have now, without it? Definitely not either.
Did I back myself the entire way? 100%. I KNEW I HAD to do this, if I wanted to break out the cycle I had lived my entire life - I KNEW I had to put myself around people living the way I wanted to live. I KNEW I had to walk away from anything and everything that was NOT that. I KNEW I had to INVEST IN ME.
I KNOW that I would not be where I am now without these choices.
Was I not listening to my intuition back then when I made those choices - hell no!
It was a hell yes the ENTIRE way.
It was a FULL BODIED YES the ENTIRE way.
There was not an ounce of doubt at the time.
Of course there a moments.. through blood sweat and tears, that I wanted to give up, walk away, wonder wtf I am doing with my life - ten million times over. This still waves over me today! Welcome to the journey!
But I KNEW that I was EXACTLY where I was meant to be - even when it didn't feel like it.
I KNEW that I have ALWAYS made the right choice - even when it didn't feel like it.
The other thing I have learnt?
Is that every time I feel depressed, unsure, doubtful or anything other than clear?
Is that I am SHIFTING.
I am RECALIBRATING.
And I let myself FEEL IT ALL.
Without judgement. I just FEEL.
I have been depressed..... because I have been shifting, going through CHANGE - recalibrating and remembering who I am, what I am doing, revisiting and shifting goals, aligning to the next stages of my vision because once the first part is achieved - well - then the next can be worked on right?
And yet, sometimes, we forget how far we've come and just how much we have held when we are carrying piles of trauma we haven't dealt with and running away from all those that trigger us instead of facing our darkest shadows.
Walking alongside my mentor that triggered me so much - was the biggest teachers of all time.
For that, it was worth every moment of doubt, questioning and then up-levelling to the next layer of clarity, vision, sense of purpose and understanding who I am - every single. time.
This depression I have been feeling... has been a recalibration... and I am finally realising who I am...
On a whole new level.
Just watch out - that means you will now too!
Do you REALLY see yourself? Or are you still wearing your bloodied dark cloak of pain? (proudly I may add!)
A Master is someone who can hold the space for themselves and others - without running back to their yoga or meditation mat to resource first.
A Master is someone who LIVES the Shadow Work REAL TIME - when it is right there in your physical face.
That, my love, is a skill.
And THAT is what I have realised, why I trigger people so much - because I transform, on the spot, instantaneous and make clarity of all the pieces at the same time.
Just. Like. Magic.
I am.... The Life Purpose Queen after all.
The Life Purpose Queen 👑
Time to rip off the bandaid.
Time to stop playing small.
Time to stop wearing your cloak of pain so proudly and shine your LIGHT instead!
I used to have my 3 Month Program open All the time. This year? Is a once off highly transformative 3 Months that is going to complete eradicate that cloak and shine your light, the lightest, and brightest it has ever, ever done so on Earth so far.