And so it begins...Mar 28, 2021
And so it begins...
If you've been following me for a while, you would've heard me share about my food addiction, my coffee addiction and the adrenaline realisations I have had a long the way, especially in this last two years.
On Thursday I was having my normal breakfast of black coffee and ghee and honey on my rye toast reading one of the books from the series I bought earlier in the week - you may have seen the Medical Medium books on my story early last week.
Of course, I intuitively opened up to the page to begin with that was going to help me the most. It was... ready for this - ***DRUM ROLL*** - ADRENALINE!
Last year on my 5 month road trips was GO the entire time. I was the sole driver, driving us 8-10 hours a day for 2 days straight to get where we needed to go and so much driving in between over that 5 months, let alone the stress and trauma I experienced along the way. It was intense to say the least.
But hey, I love road trips. And as always, received so many lessons, wake up calls, gifts and realisations on that trip but phew... I am still healing from it now - and it was just over 12 months ago that it all began.
This last 3 months has been the hardest with the collective energies and completely restructuring my business so that I have my time freedom back, let alone all the 'space' that has been in my life from stopping working 24/7, putting healthy boundaries in my place with my life and completely changing the way I show up in my life, let alone the world.
I feel like I have only just settled in the house we are in now after moving six months ago (that 6 month timeline birthing portal again 😉 ) which is great and yet this last two weeks? Have felt so much unsettledness - but it was here - that I had the hugest breakthrough.
Within the business restructure and my life - I have been questioning what I am doing!
Amongst all political and 'dark side of humanity' surfacing through what is almost mainstream media, that are called conspiracy theories and more - the darkness is coming to light and that has been uncomfortable for a lot of people.
A lot of people have bagged out 'old spirituality (new age)' and turned to God and yet, they don't realise that in their shaming and blaming of a path that once deeply supported them - they are no different to the likes of the Devil - making people take sides - I ain't see no oneness in that!
Judgement is the evil eye of separation, not Unity.
I'm getting side tracked...
I have known all the dark side of spirituality stuff since 2006, 2011 and always brushed it off. Last August, it hit me hard and I questioned and recalibrated so, so much.
Amongst this 'dark side of humanity' I will call it (which encompasses all the human trafficking, blood rituals, all the things, you know what I am talking about' - last year, coupled with my road trips and own trauma releasing and surfacing to heal - all that was strong in my awareness was this Adrenaline piece.
Intuitively opening 'Cleanse to Heal' by Anthony William last week specifically to Adrenaline, I began crying. It answered so much for me and gave me so much to work with! It was The answer that I was looking for and yet, that wasn't my big realisation break through last week!
This last 3 months, I have been wondering WTF do i even do anymore, and actually had been asking that for the last 3 years, seeing how many spiritual leaders have risen and are sharing their gift int he world, I went through a huge stage of, well what is the point of me doing it, if everyone else is doing it?! Yes, I am human and go through these things too!
These questions were just the surface issue.
I had broken through almost 2 years ago.
I built my business online, I got off the government single parent pension and my company has been supporting my lifestyle ever since February 2018 and this trauma realisation? This adrenaline realisation? The fog of the last 3 months of huge recalibration to 'why' I am doing what I am doing? Or should do?
It has been such a black cloud this last 3 months, but the last 2 years I hit a plateau.
My huge breakthrough realisation?
I have a HUGE vision to change the world - always have since August 2006, when it was clearly given to me, hence Reality Awareness was born.
I have not lived an easy life, as many people have.
To change the world? That is a big feat, but very doable in my eyes, especially when your Life Purpose is guiding you every step of the way.
I have been solidly working on this project of changing the world, since 2006, letting my Life and my Life Purpose guide me in every moment.
Since taking my business online in 2016, the dawning realisation I had? Is that I have been doing it to run away, or, more accurately - get away.
To get away and get off the government single parent pension.
To get away, to run away, to escape from the unhealthy, toxic relationships that I have been in all my life.
To escape the trauma, to escape the pain.
And I did it.
And didn't realise it.
I didn't realise I reached a point that I have 'escaped' from all that shit in my life!
This last 6 months - I have been safe, away from all that crap.
And yet, I was still running on adrenaline away from it all!
I wanted to move house again last month (old pattern), I wanted to move back to the ocean (still do miss Her and want to be closer eventually), but right now?
Right now I am safe, I am away from all the stuff in my life that I have been working for to create a 'peaceful' life away from all that drama, toxicity and crap!
My huge breakthrough last week, is that I am Home.
We don't have to go anywhere.
We don't have to move anywhere.
I don't have to escape some toxic relationship.
I don't have to do anything like that anymore.
I did it.
I made it.
To the 'space' to the 'peace' - I am here now!
And now, now.... now is the time to heal from all that crap!
Heal my body.....
Heal my mind....
Heal my systems that have been damaged through all the coping mechanisms to arrive to where I am now.
Now is the time for Healing, deep, deep healing, my physical body is craving it, my mind needs it and my systems are in deep need of repair and rebalance from the adrenaline fuels environmental, relationship and emotional factors ever since.
Well, it doesn't seem that huge now I am writing it out but hey, it was HUGE clarity for me.
No wonder I have felt so lost in this recalibration process lately!
Now I can heal from all the adrenaline fuelled lifestyle of running away from.. now I can be in a place of deep healing, so then the next stage is literally creating my life, my life by design, just like I had always dreamed of -
Changing the world requires you sort out your life.
Healing others requires you to sort out your life and heal your on life, on all levels.
Creating the life you desire, by design, living in true abundance, requires you to get knowledgeable about the things that are going to support that, from business skills, to marketing, to healing, to all the things.
It doesn't mean you can't do what you do WHILST you are sorting these things out in the back ground, but you must be doing so in the back ground, or you will never pivot and move forward.
I now get to create my reality, I get to create my life and business to flow TOWARDS PLEASURE, TOWARDS BLISS - not running away from pain!
THIS is massive and just so, so grateful, for this breakthrough realisation which is why all the confusion of the last 3 months amongst this massive recalibration
I am deeply focused on intentionally creating PLEASURE, joy and fun in my life and business now.
And so it begins...
Here's to healing, pleasure, joy and FUN - the sustainable kind, the love fuelled, heart centred kind.
Here's to a clean slate, here's to now truly creating my life by design, from deep Life Purpose Guidance that gets to show me the way, to lead Humanity in kind.
The Life Purpose Queen 👑
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