People will negate you and put you down, fall in a heap, bawl your eyes out, straighten your Crown and carry on anyway.
Only in the last two weeks, do I finally feel like I have started to 'arrive' here in my new home.
I always say to my clients who are going through a house move - it takes 3 months to truly 'land' energetically when you move house. 3 months prior to you leaving somewhere - your Soul/energy has already started to leave and 3 months after you arrive, do you truly 'arrive' energetically.
After 5 months on the road and then within two weeks of being back 'home' - did we pack up the house and move house - after being there for 8 years!
I truly wasn't meant to be in that house ANY longer in Wurtulla.
It still is quite awe inspiring when I still think about it to this day, how I drove all those kms (25,000kms/15,500miles in 5 months to be precise!), arrived back 'home' to only dump 5 months worth of car baggage on the floor at home to then...
I have been taking my time and I have been Souloving it.
Although I have been frustrated at times, my Soul has been loving it.
This is how it is supposed to be - back in LIFE again or something it feels like. Back in the flow that... I am not on go go masculine overdrive burn out go go mode.
Some days I work fast and 'push' - but there is a different energy to it, a different energy BEHIND it.
I think that is the difference from masculine, over-responsibility, 'have to do it all myself/pick up the pieces for the family lineage scapegoat generational role' that has manifested in me being too much in my masculine energy attracting men that are very feminine and deeply attached to their mothers it makes me dry reach (sorry not sorry guys!), however, that was a direct reflection of my energy and what I have been in, thus, attracting that.. which I didn't want.
The difference in energy I feel these days, is hard to describe.
I sleep so deeply, but I am...
I had stopped trusting myself... and I didn't even know.
Right now, layers upon layers, upon layers are releasing from me.
And amongst that.. I didn't even know I had stopped trusting myself.
I had been looking out there to this person and this person and this person for confirmation of what I was doing, for... something... and I didn't even realise I had.
I didn't realise I had shut myself down.
Today... layers upon layers upon layers have been releasing.
It is making me wonder whether it is this 12 month commitment to the liver/gall bladder cleanse I have just committed to, or whether I have just entered into another 18mth cycle, where I am grieving... all that has covered me up... all that.. I LET cover me up.
When I began online four years ago I was SOOOOOO excited and enthusiastic. I had FINALLY found my avenue, my outlet, the way I can FINALLY reach more than 10 people in a yoga class/chakra workshop and FUCKING CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!!...
Yesterday we went for a mini road trip to pick up our two newest family members
Only God knows why on Earth we drove two hours away to pick up the Ratties, even though there were some closer to home to us.
I know there are several reasons why the Universe took us THERE of all places.. but at the same time it was STRANGE.
I was feeling off... it was weird, I was feeling all sorts of things and realised I was probably picking up the woman's energy who had the rat babies, because of some issues prior to us arriving.
I just wasn't myself. And yet, I was also conscious that I was subconsciously aware of entering Brisbane, where all the facial recognition ID has been turned on everywhere all over town....
I was also aware of where we were even heading to on the South side of Brisbane, wasn't the highest of vibe places....
But fuck knows why Spirit is taking me to all these sorts of places! Like Victoria and all that I uncovered there...
No filter required, because the clarity I feel with my new life is exactly this - clear and beautiful.
However, I found myself bawling my eyes out in deep, deep grief last night for over an hour.
It was deep, deep grief, and it surprised me what it dropped into.
My old house and what I went through being in that home for 8 years.
What I learnt and grew through.
The biggest piece being my ex of 5 years and what... I went through with that. What I grew through and the person it has made me today, because of it.
But not a grief of missing it.
Rather, the stored and buried resentment that I had tucked away deep inside my gall-bladder.
Tears poured, out of no where as I climbed into bed. I found myself 'at my old house' in the lounge room on my knees, bawling my eyes out.
I found myself, hovering/flying above my house/suburb, feeling trapped in the black sludge that I felt energetically in that suburb, that I repeatedly cleared for so...