Oh, there was so much more I meant to say about this... as I had even wondered why I had 'whispered' such a thing to myself/the Universe one night whilst I was falling asleep.
In my blog yesterday I wrote: "When the first one turned up - later that day I had realised that I said to the Universe several weeks ago - 'Whoever I am meant to be with, will have to turn up on my doorstep!'
Now - the old Hannah would've gone running back because I had said that. Yet, what this showed me was - UM NO WAY. NOT that one."
What else I had to say about that?
Is that I wondered why I had even said that to myself and several weeks later ex's turning up on my doorstep happen.
I don't want a relationship, I am building my business - leave me alone!
OBVIOUSLY NOT HEY??
Talk about the TRUTH COMING OUT!
Throat Chakra Week - the WAKE UP CALLS to the way you are LIVING in your reality - is what the Throat is all about.
The space where you are thinking you are living a certain way, but then reality is in your face, showing you how you are ACTUALLY living.
What was this call from my subconscious?
What have I been denying?
Yes - the longing for a relationship. But under that?
The desperate need to be loved.
No wonder the men that come along seem to think I am the woman of their dreams and feel needy. Right. Got it. My own subconscious projections. How. Interesting.
Clearing out of my field, because they are coming up and out and no longer in alignment - yet - what is the part of me - calling them back into my field?
Tidying up loose ends? Finally releasing?
Yes - but what about the part of me that is calling them back into my field? (Yes I said it twice).
The part of me longing for a relationship, the part of me that wants to experience what it is like to have a partner that is completely, deeply honestly there for me and loves me - without conditions, without rules, without restrictions.
You want to know what Shadow Work is? THIS 👆🏻👆🏻
That these 'old flames' and 'old hurts' - are turning up in my reality for that which I had forgotten about, or left, or buried - coming up and out because I have been working on increasing my vibration into the LIGHT rather than sitting around in the Darkness for too much longer.
It is this Light frequency that I have been working on, that has been solid in Reconfiguring Energetic Codes and the Life Purpose Mentorship where some serious shifting has been going on, that this is bringing this up and out - it is no longer in alignment.
But - what about that part of me that called those places, people, situations and events in, in the first place?
Because under every single event, is a part of you that has called it in - there is some unmet need, that if you don't tend to it consciously - it will rise up unconsciously and turn up in your reality as a person, situation or event - that is only trying to meet this need.
What is the need, the part of me - calling these things in?
The part of me that wants to feel loved of course.
The part of me that wants every good thing to be there for her, meet her needs, love her and love on her and so much more.
This part of me - one could say it is an Inner Child, one could say it is the Divine Sensual Woman that I am - whatever 'name' it has - it has called it in - and at this space in consciousness?
I catch it.
I say no to the external projections that have turned up in the physical.
I turn away from them, and turn inwards, to this part of myself that is deeply needing my attention, that is deeply needing my love, that is deeply - needing ME.
Needing me to nurture her, care for her, love her and love on her, the way she needs.
And when I do? This shift that comes in - is a feeling of wholeness - of - that subconscious calling out to the Universe, being transformed into a feeling of LOVE - and now vibrating deep, deep Love - rather than looking out there and calling out for it.
Recognising that I am that deep, deep love that I have been longing for.
That I am the one I have been waiting for.
That I have been the one to give me all the love I deserve, deserve and flourish with - no one else on this planet can fill a hole of emptiness.
No alcohol bottle, no person, no thing - can fill that need for love deep within you - but you.
When it had been so quiet - and then within the space of a week, almost every single day, some man turning up in my field in some way shape or form - time to love myself deeper.
That longing is real - but it is only me, that can fill the desire for love that I crave.
That longing is real - it is about admitting to myself that of course, I do want a relationship to experience this wonderful world we call LIFE together. Of course. It is owning this fact and that I am ALMOST ready to start dating again. I always said, when I have my life and business in a particular place - of course, I want a relationship and will date wisely to experience the man for me for the rest of our lives, so should we choose every day that we breathe.
Yet, right now, it is recognising, that I have called these experiences back in, as they rise up and shift out of my reality - so I can truly feel the love I deserve - the LOVE - that I AM.
To FEEL, the Love that I am - without any outside longing. The longing - is real - the longing is for my own damn self to SHINE the LOVE THAT I AM.
I won't play small anymore. I've done enough of that in my past.
I am grateful for this truth surfacing on Throat Chakra Week - so I can admit what I really want, a deeply meaningful and loving relationship, rather than deny and push down that fact and have that need go unmet and attract every thing I don't want in a relationship show up. #eptiomeofshadowwork
It's time to shine so brightly and deeply, for the Love that I am, only wants to be expressed in the full expression that I AM - the Woman I was born to be.
It's time to unapologetically ask for what I want and own it. Every. Single. Part.
The Life Purpose Queen 👑
P.S. Eeeek!!! It is August! And this year? 2019? Marks 3 YEARS that I have been consistently bringing Tuesday Tarot to the world! Dedication, commitment and I deep, deep love for what I do bringing my passion to you every single week - it is TIME TO CELEBRATE!! 🥳🎊🥂🎊🥳
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