Something has massively shifted... when I love on myself, even when I don't look my what I feel is my best, I know I have changed. Raw. Real. Vulnerable. Radical. Unconditional Love.
When I can support myself in ways that nurture me, instead of beat up on me when I have had a massive week with very little sleep, releasing paradigms and relationship entanglements that have been deeply embedded more than I realised and has been slowly eating away at me, way more than I realised was even present and was the issue all along.... when I can love myself in this space, no matter what I look like, I know I have changed.
Sometimes I look worse for wear, but I can still love on myself - but this wasn't always the case!
Sometimes I eat super healthy, sometimes I eat what I can when I am busy. Being out of town now, makes easier for eating healthy that is for sure.
The biggest change I have noticed in myself is that since going back to the gym 3 x a week - I...
I have been taking my time and I have been Souloving it.
Although I have been frustrated at times, my Soul has been loving it.
This is how it is supposed to be - back in LIFE again or something it feels like. Back in the flow that... I am not on go go masculine overdrive burn out go go mode.
Some days I work fast and 'push' - but there is a different energy to it, a different energy BEHIND it.
I think that is the difference from masculine, over-responsibility, 'have to do it all myself/pick up the pieces for the family lineage scapegoat generational role' that has manifested in me being too much in my masculine energy attracting men that are very feminine and deeply attached to their mothers it makes me dry reach (sorry not sorry guys!), however, that was a direct reflection of my energy and what I have been in, thus, attracting that.. which I didn't want.
The difference in energy I feel these days, is hard to describe.
I sleep so deeply, but I am...
After yet ANOTHER devastating relationship break up I found myself hiding away, breaking down in tears and pretending nothing happened on the outside, when inside, I was dying.. another huge gaping hole in my heart.... wtf is actually wrong with me??
After several weeks of moping around, trying to get some sort of work done and figuring out what is next because it seemed like everything was lost... I finally began to pick myself up and get back on my feet again.
I began to get in my groove again and vowed to never let any man pull me off path again... or.. let myself loose myself again... and focus on myself, my daughter and my business.
I wrote down pieces of inspiration and stuck it all around my home. Which I do frequently, however, I also go through phases of clearing it all away and having clear open space.
A fresh wave came in and inspiration flowed as I pulled myself back into deeply alignment, curiosity and wonder at... what the Universe had planned for...
No filter required, because the clarity I feel with my new life is exactly this - clear and beautiful.
However, I found myself bawling my eyes out in deep, deep grief last night for over an hour.
It was deep, deep grief, and it surprised me what it dropped into.
My old house and what I went through being in that home for 8 years.
What I learnt and grew through.
The biggest piece being my ex of 5 years and what... I went through with that. What I grew through and the person it has made me today, because of it.
But not a grief of missing it.
Rather, the stored and buried resentment that I had tucked away deep inside my gall-bladder.
Tears poured, out of no where as I climbed into bed. I found myself 'at my old house' in the lounge room on my knees, bawling my eyes out.
I found myself, hovering/flying above my house/suburb, feeling trapped in the black sludge that I felt energetically in that suburb, that I repeatedly cleared for so...
"But I've spent thousands of dollars and it didn't work!"
"Not with me you haven't." I replied.
It doesn't matter if you spend a little or a lot...
What does matter - is the person who is holding the space for you to transform.
I have had many, many people over the years come to me and say that 'psychologists don't work, doctors don't work, no body, not even other healers can figure out what is wrong with me' and yet, again, it depends on the practitioner that is holding space for you to transform.
Anybody can train to become anybody from a book/class.
But how deep are they going within their own transformational growth journey? THAT is the key you want to be looking for.
The best healers, guide you to connecting to your own inner health, inner wealth and inner life purpose.
No body can do that for you.
It is like when I teach Lightfilled Yoga, I ask if there are any new people to my class and give them a disclaimer. If you don't like...
Release Yourself From Restrictive Blocks In Your Reality
It was never about them anyway...
"Oh my god I can't believe they did this/said that/how can they have/why did they...."
Whatever is turning up in your reality is 100% your responsibility.
It doesn't matter what 'they' did, what 'they' said, what anyone thinks, does or speaks... because on some level, it is your responsibility.
In a sense that, if you are truly the creator of your own reality = that means that EVERYTHING that is showing up is in some way shape or form, something you brought into your reality through your consciousness on some level.
It is bringing a deeper conscious awareness of yourself, that is all. It is helping you to become more conscious of yourself.
EVERYTHING IS A MIRROR AND A REFLECTION.
Notice most, what you are talking about, preaching about - having a reaction about with other people and what 'is on your mind about what they said' - your conscious awareness is...