"Go to Noosa," She whispered...
Sure, that sounds like a good idea, a nice walk through the Noosa National Park together, sure, that sounds great. So I scheduled it in.
That was on Wednesday.
So, I did, I booked it in for Saturday afternoon, today... I have learnt that I have to CREATE space to do the things I need and want to do in my life, otherwise, everything else fills it up - I can ALWAYS find something to do 😉
Saturday afternoon busy as, as per usual though, I always get a park exactly where I want to - except this time - I drove straight past it. As I turned the corner, not where we usually park, literally as I thought, gosh, Saturday busy, oh well, we always get a park anyway - and someone had just pulled out - I hesitated and kept driving. It wasn't our 'normal' place to park - it wouldn't have been our 'normal' place to walk...
We kept driving and I was already immediately questioning it - gosh, did the Universe just give us that car park right at the front? Like seriously, that was a gold park... I talked myself out of it, 'Oh, it's only a 2 hour park, we will need longer than that'.
After 4-5 laps of our 'usual' place to park, I was like okay, okay - yep, the Universe WAS giving me that carpark...
Eventually, we got a park in our usual carpark... I was still questioning it, but talked myself out of it again - because, well, it is a 4 hour park here and we'll be longer than 2 hours surely, not counting the fact it was only 2-3 hours until sundown anyway! 😳
We check out the signs and the maps and as I pointed to the bush track, rather than going our usual beach track - Adaya agreed and we began walking. I knew it was a long walk... a 2-3 hour walk, but I wasn't going to tell her that! 🙊About 30 mins into it, conversation began and she found out and wanted to turn back, but of course, that wasn't happening!
We kept walking bare feet on the Earth and the subtropic rainforest that my Soul was craving for quite some time, consciously resetting my energy field walking bare foot on the Earth needing the recalibration after the week I had and the huge emotional and energetic release that I had last night that saw me for most of the afternoon deep in process so much so that I fell asleep in the afternoon and was in bed by 9pm.
Something HUGE is shifting... and even this morning, all these 'life changing' signs kept showing up in my house - things I have always had here, but never 'seen' in this light - big life change - yes! Just. So. Huge. My entire reality has shifted, and shifted again and shifted AGAIN. (in a good way!) Just. Huge.
On our walk, I found myself thinking of my ex, realising that that was the last time I had walked that particular bush track and walking with Adaya I was consciously 'untying' that thread from walking the opposite way and releasing it as I went, re-writing my reality to the extreme it seems!
Once we reached the ocean shore and the beautiful sun starting to sink on the horizon, we walked the beach track and I was grateful we took the bush track first as there were just so many people!
We walked the track and almost back at the carpark - my ex! And what looked like his ex before me that he was with again! 😳I haven't spoken to him since this time last year when he knocked on my door wanting to make amends after his mother passed away the year before and all the shit that happened between us at that time. Nope. Wasn't an option, wasn't going back to that. Not after that. He saw me and I saw him from a distance and it was #awkward to say the least. And I was like wtf are the chances of seeing him seriously like gah!
After the 2 hour trek, Adaya collapsed on the green lush grass and I sat with her and this photo - trying to get the perfect selfie, but it seems the Turkey took the cake with that one! (see my story on fb/instagram to see the Turkey perfectly posed strutting his stuff! 😍)
I was keen to get out of there, as much as that gorgeous sun and the lush grass underfoot - I felt uncomfortable and just.... gah. More Heart chakra healing and releasing I guess. Time to clean that one up I guess is what the Universe is showing me!
Driving the 40 min trip home, realisation after realisation after realisation poured through my mind and heart... this past week I have been thinking about him and not even realising it. I had to clean out my Photo library on my computer after all the tech challenges and upgrades the other week, something was still not right and has been weeks of being on the phone to Apple (thank god for their tech support!) and had to change something over, upgrade do stuff with my photo librarys and all these 'deleted' photos had turned up in my library again and I even said to the tech guy, "Gosh, deleted photos aren't really deleted are they... seems anyone can find anything if they really wanted to." And yep, you guessed it, all these photos of my ex had turned up. Even the other day, memories were flooding back for some weird reason and I hadn't thought about him for so long. Driving home... I was like, how did I not put all that together this week?!
Just. More. Releasing. I guess! I did say the other day - I EXPECT THERE TO BE MORE 🤣How did I forget! 🤣
Something MASSIVE is shifting over here and it is deeply taking me to my next level and I am allowing it to. The depth and core that I dropped into yesterday though... goodness. More on that another time, my book, perhaps... it is a big one. You know how I have been talking all week about how much 'space' there is in my life now? Compared to like - ever it seems? Well - we all know what happens in space! Things surface! Things RISE that have not had 'space' to, because of busyness or whatnot. Well, RISE it did and it floored me. Just time to process it I guess! I have been asking for all blocks to be removed, and I just KNOW this is a HUGE part of this. So, of course I have been somewhat reluctantly riding it.
It dawned on me driving home, my analytical mind trying to figure it's meanings all out and after my mentor session yesterday reminding me to stay the fuck out of my head - I dropped into my heart and it all became clear - if I had just taken that first car park - we would've walked a completely new part of Noosa that I hadn't parked nor walked ever before (I like walking/going to new places as it changes my brain neural-pathways the different tracks, make different 'tracks' in my brain, opening me to new energy/experiences/life) we would've had a completely different experience, a new one.
Yes, everything happens for a reason and I needed the barely no people and feet on the Earth in the bush yes and that I need to release him from my heart that I didn't know threads were still there for... however - what the 'meaning' of it all was? What it showed me?
Is that - just like the start of that very relationship - if I had just trusted my own damn intuition and just got the fuck out of it early on? It wouldn't have ended up in the great mess it left me in months later because of it. As this dawned on me - I was covered in soooo many goosebumps. DING. There it was.
To top it off - a 222 car pulled in front of us and was in front of us almost the entire way home. (222 - Trust that everything is working out exactly as its supposed to, with Divine blessings for everyone involved. Let go and have faith.)
Whilst all this was happening driving home, to get our fresh sushi from the best Japanese restaurant on the coast, I could've gone 'the usual way' but after this 'flow' and realising what I did, I trusted and just went the longer way but was a 'nicer' drive to get there... and as we came up over the hill, the huge cruise ship was anchored in the harbour and a firework display was going off! And yes, you guessed it a car pulled out of a carpark, right where we could pull up to get out and watch the rest of the fireworks and the car number plate that pulled out? 🙈555! (555 - Huge changes are rumbling throughout your entire life! To keep these changes on the highest possible course, be sure to keep your thoughts positive, and stay centred in prayer and affirmations.) #ofcourse it did.
I felt back in the flow. I felt like... I remembered how to trust again. It became so apparent to me, on this drive home in realising all these pieces of puzzles put together of just how scared I am to open up to someone again! #huge
My mind wandered to how I have never felt like this in my life and what a change that that last relationship took me to - to feel this way and how I shut down after that space. Then how, I was always so open with my tribe and shared EVERYTHING and taught my sharing my experiences - yet, a man in my own damn tribe 'turned it all against me' at the end of last year too and how driving today - all these memories flooding back and how open I once was and how now.... I see them as strong boundary lines now.
Huge changes have been rumbling for sure and even in my post this week, sharing how even a lot of my tribe are not liking the way I am not being the people pleaser to them and that is okay...this 'fallout' with this man in my own damn tribe at the end of last year... is what WOKE ME TO MY CORE. Shook me into sooo much darkness that I only could awaken to the reality of what I had been clouding my own damn light in - my people pleaser role.
What hit me yesterday, what surfaced yesterday, not just the memory, but the FEELING so much so that I ended up with a speeding fine driving home I was that angry and I passed out cold into deep sleep as soon as I got home the trauma and realisation was so damn huge for me - was exactly where my people pleaser role began. It was and... I am just still deeply processing this right now - but I did wake up this morning, feeling like a different person.
Throughout my Inner Child Meditation, I always see her at a particular age - for YEARS I have seen her at this age. Sometimes she would be a different age, but most of the time, it is this particular age and I have always wondered why, yet at the same time, I just thought, that is how she shows up... and yesterday? Well, actually the memory had been surfacing this past week and the last 3-4 days just over and over in my mind, which I thought was kinda weird to be honest, but knew my session with my mentor was coming up and YEP. Huge. Talk about the pieces of the puzzle coming together. The rawness was REAL and after all the people have left my field in this past week let alone this past year? It makes TOTAL sense.
My ENTIRE reality has changed. I feel so different. Yet, of course, still processing this one. This one, is... seems like, the hugest trauma release to date. Perhaps because it set me into this role that I have been living ever since I was 4-5 years old because of it. I guess, that is why it feels so huge. I am finding... me again. The Hannah I was, the Love that I felt, the TRUST that I felt, before I became the people pleaser to everyone I met ever since then. #hugeisanunderstatement #stillprocessingthisone! Because what even is the belief that I created from this event, and has sent me to believe about every intimate and close relationship since then? Yep - deeply pulling this one apart. Still in process!
What today showed me? Putting myself first, my Purpose work first? I return to my super flow state - that new experiences are on the horizon when I remember to take those opportunities that Spirit puts in front of me - like the car pulling out of the car park on a busy Saturday afternoon seconds after I thought about the carpark - realising Spirit was communicating to me in those moments. #lessonlearnt
Yes, I needed the Earth under my feet, yes, I needed to clear those threads of him from my heart and energy field, yes, I needed that entire experience to remember that the red flags were there for me with him in the start, but I ignored them... and that when I trust the flow - that we see amazing ships anchored in a place they don't usually all lit up and pretty and see beautiful fireworks whilst on the way to our amazing Japanese dinner.
And all of this... because these little reminders? Lead to big spaces opening up, big joy filled spaces, big... experiences and opportunities that wouldn't otherwise show up, have I keep going in my little comfy world.
This entire year has pushed me out of my comfort zone - may as well not stop now! 😍Fire works and pretty lights look amazing 🎆and this all came from turning up to my purpose work before anything else this morning and I like it. This energetically clear space, that is getting clearer and clearer by the day? I like it. A lot. I think I'll stay here.
"Go to Noosa," The Goddess whispered... Yes, for sure.. sounds like a beautiful idea 😍🙈🌅🏞🌊🎆✨
The Life Purpose Queen 👑
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