Do not let the voice of what you really want to say be suppressed
Do not let other people influence how you feel about yourself because they are judging WHO YOU ARE - meaning - what your HEART COMES ALIVE DOING, SAYING, SHARING, BEING - EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
You may think I am speaking about the post I 'reacted' to yesterday - but this is deeper than that.
I am human you know! I wasn't upset about it (the post yesterday) - just found it funny to be honest. I know some of you messaged me about it, I wasn't upset at all. I get a lot more messages like that than I share, I just... shared that one - because I FOUND MY VOICE COMING BACK - BEING WHO I REALLY AM - SAYING ALL THE THINGS #finally I lost followers over it. I had other people talk about it - saying I was wrong for sharing it ffs.
I feel like I’ve just come out of a big dark tunnel of several years.
I feel like I was in a space where everything I said and did was wrong.
I would share my heart,...
where the fuck has Hannah gone?
The truth is.. I don't fucking know.
I used to walk around - with - what I look back on now - like a big chip on my shoulder. I was confident, clear in where I was going, knew who I was and now - where the fuck has Hannah gone?
This last six months of recalibration has shifted me and fucked me all the same time.
It has fucked me in a sense that I used to run on trauma filled adrenalin seeking achieving look I am good enough now and....
Now in this SPACE that I have had in the last six months with my team taking a huge workload off my back -
In the start - it used to feel like they were pulling at me, tugging at me asking me this question and that and when will this content be ready that you wanted me to do for you Hannah - and when I tuned into it - no, it felt like... it was all the jobs - the zillion things I have held together and done... all leaving my body, my aura, my energy.
This has been an insane journey of...
WAKING UP IN A REALITY I DIDN'T ENVISION MYSELF IN
Layers of wake up.. hitting home - hard.
I always thought I wasn’t good enough or fit in with the ‘cool kids’ or had the fancy car or home or clothes or lifestyle that I was still striving to reach THERE…
But Spirit showed me something…
Did I ever want that?
Maybe I thought I was good enough then.
Maybe I felt like I would’ve made it then.
Where does that drive even come from?
Maybe I thought I would’ve been accepted by my family and ‘those friends’ then.
Maybe I thought I would’ve reached the detonation - ha meant to write destination #damnautospell - and yet detonation is right on point.
Spirit annihilated to complete obliteration - what I thought I was supposed to attain… to be… to hang around..
Maybe I was still longing to fit in from high school being on the outskirts of a circle of 4 rather than the rest of the year that seemed to all hang...
Your Demons are really the cloak to your own Brilliance
Demons live in the Throat Chakra - why? (This isn't called Shadow work for no reason! )
Because they are the parts of you that swallow your own truth instead of listening to your own HEART (aka intuition) - the truth that connects us all.
At the Throat - because they (all these parts of you) stop you trusting your heart.
They stop you listening to your heart.
You swallow your own voice when you want to say something and stop - because you don't want to upset that person - because you don't want to be rejected - but you are rejecting your own SOUL.
This causes disconnection in the world and your life, feelings of not being good enough, abandonment - 'they did this to me and more', stem from you listening to your own demons.
They become 'demons' because you are trying to hold down so many feelings that want to come out - so you cover the pain and 'help' hold down this pain in your heart by turning to addictions - whatever...
SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN TO LEAD BUT NOT EVERYONE WHO HAS THE CALLING WILL
You're super sensitive...
You have an answer for everything...
Things that are a no brainer and common sense to you are like the hugest world revelations on this planet to people you help or give unexpected advice to on a day to day basis.
People open up to you almost instantly and you just have the solution for them without even thinking about it - it just pours out of your mouth.
You have a Gift.
You are Different.
You know who you are and what you want.
Some won't go all the way though.
Some will rise and then coil back away and go back to the comforts of what they once knew.
Some will continue to move forward and rise up to the next level beyond comprehension, whilst you look on and wish you had done that... but in your own way.
But you won't.
You won't even budge.
You just sit there wishing and waiting for the right moment for it...
I remembered the cycles and dropped it all.
'Take your hands off the wheel Hannah!'
I made a commitment to myself a few months back, that I would wake up when the sun comes up, not when my alarm goes off - or when I wake - during Winter - which is now for me.
That might not seem like a big deal, or something that is like, well yeah, Hannah - of course.
And yet, it is a big deal for me.
For the last 5 years, I have been getting up religiously, at 5am and starting work. It is how I have built my business. Maybe there was one or two days I didn't, like literally.
This time last year - I was in one of the coldest places in Australia in Winter, and I STILL got up, at 5am, when it was dark, would drive after my car defrosted the ice off it with remote start whilst I made my coffee, to drive to the top of the hill with reception and commence work.
I remember a huge fall out occurring with the people I was staying with - they were SOOOOOO triggered...
I've been feeling all the things... I haven't been feeling myself.
I've been feeling super weird, not wanting to show up, not wanting to write, not wanting to do anything.
And yet, deep down I know I have to.
Well, of course I don't have to do anything. But I want to. My SOUL wants to.
And yet, I've been questioning everything.
I have tiny bouts of feeling good and then everything just feels so much lately.
That 6 weeks prior to the first eclipse was just speeded up with absolutely everything. Full. Completely full. Space for surfing and things I am loving again yes, but it was also tightly crammed in.
I guess after working non-stop for soooo long I took any opportunity to fill that space with things I love and now... I am working on space for the sake of space.
And I am grateful that I am in a position that I can do that now.
I have been wondering why I am in this house. It is beautiful but being out of town, away from the...
I used to run away from everything. I have been called unstable, lost and told that I don't know what I am doing time and time again.
This used to break my heart
And - it made for some deep self-reflection and consistent inner work with myself, counsellors and mentors over the years as people in my life would continue to say these things to me, so I looked at it. I took it on board.
And yet, I did it in a way that made me feel like something was wrong with me.
Of course I am grateful now, but gosh it knocked me down, tore my heart out and made me feel like I was broken for a long time.
Over the years and with deep self reflection I have learnt that I am not unstable.
Whilst the very people who told me I was unstable have changed jobs and career more times than I can count in the same time I have continued to build, expand and stabilise Reality Awareness.
Whilst the very people who also told me I was unstable and need to sort my shit out have...
Your Intuitive Self, is the most divine, aligned, most incredible Being that you will ever meet on the planet.
It has lifetimes of Wisdom, Galactic Seeds of complete Universe's that exist within you.
You are always connected to this Wisdom.
People will come along and tell you not to do this thing that way or teach that way, or show up that way, or say those words that way, or tell you, you can't achieve your dreams that way or use your sage that way or charge your crystals that way or earn money that way or do psychic readings that way.
TRUST YOUR INTUITION OVER WHAT ANY PERSON, ANY WORDS IN A BOOK ANY THING THAT YOU WATCH, LISTEN OR LEARN FROM ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF YOU #period.
I ALWAYS say this. Just like all my teachings are a starting point. And yet, many come along and tell me there is more, or you are incorrect Hannah, which I find fascinating when they have not done any of my work before!
Sure, learn things, watch things, absorb what...