I had been looking for safety in trying to find a man... I had been looking for safety in a relationship...
I have realised this past few weeks with the HUGE shift out of my bones that I had recently...
It dawned on me this last few days...
Back in 2016, when I began online, I went through one of the final relationship break ups with my on and off ex of 5 years.
After this, I felt.. lost reflecting on it.
For the next 2 years, I jumped from relationship to relationship - which, if I looked with my wisdom eyes now - I should've been dating (that doesn't mean se. x - dating for me, is going out for dinner or other activities to get to know someone - which maybe, is normal for you, but something I have had to learn at this point in the game) however, back then, I would be 100% IN, committed, it's us, what are you talking about? Done, sorted - forever!
And gosh, what a whirlwind, heartbreak and dissolving of myself, losing myself one could say and... just...
I USED TO ADMIRE THEM, BUT NOW......
I used to be boisterous and loud. I used to be a bitch. I used to be one of the boys. I used to think that was what I needed to be to achieve, but I realised that was the front for my tender heart that was trying to protect itself.
Now I don’t need protecting.
Now my masculine is not out of balance.
Now my immature masculine self doesn’t need to put on the big front of facade.
I can just be me. Without putting anyone else down.
Without judging those I have no idea with their life entails.
Without thinking I need to be doing it better or like them (competition - immature masculine).
I used to be okay with sarcastic humour. Not anymore. It’s abuse.
These things - I recently came across someone who I deeply admired, who taught me a lot. But through reactive outbursts, on my part AND their part, they are not in my life anymore.
I recently read something and it hurt my heart. I felt it to my core. And in the...
Day #30: Allow the Soil to Settle - The Key To Mastery
You can be clearing energy, clearing energy and clearing energy.
And then you can be doing inner work, inner work, inner work.
And then the Soil needs to settle.
What do I mean by this?
When you are clearing energy, doing internal work - consistently - Integration time is sooooo important.
So often people think themselves to be bad, wrong or ‘not good enough’ when they sit down and watch netflix and in the back of their mind think they should be meditating and beat themselves up and feel worse.
And what I say??
It’s integration time honey!!!
There is a delicate balance to life - EVERYTHING is in Balance.
The inflow and the outflow..
Your in breath and your out breath.
Night time and day time.
And it is all happening - ALWAYS at the same time ALWAYS.
Think about it - there isn’t a time you aren’t breathing (unless you’re not here anymore!)
There isn’t a time when it isn’t...