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I USED TO ADMIRE THEM, BUT NOW......

I used to be boisterous and loud. I used to be a bitch. I used to be one of the boys. I used to think that was what I needed to be to achieve, but I realised that was the front for my tender heart that was trying to protect itself.

Now I don’t need protecting.

Now my masculine is not out of balance.

Now my immature masculine self doesn’t need to put on the big front of facade.

I can just be me. Without putting anyone else down.

Without judging those I have no idea with their life entails.

Without thinking I need to be doing it better or like them (competition - immature masculine).

I used to be okay with sarcastic humour. Not anymore. It’s abuse.

These things - I recently came across someone who I deeply admired, who taught me a lot. But through reactive outbursts, on my part AND their part, they are not in my life anymore. 

I recently read something and it hurt my heart. I felt it to my core. And in the...

THE CORE.

IT IS ALWAYS THE HEALING  AT THE CORE.

The surface stuff may trigger you… but what is DEEPER, what is UNDER that… TRAVEL THAT.

GO DEEPER.

Which is… after all, my gift… straight to the CORE.

Straight to HEART of the matter.

It is just… what I do. Naturally.

HOME.

That powerful place.

That…. safe place.

That…. place of Love.

HOME IS HEART IS.

EXPELLED FROM THE TRIBE.

OUCH.

If you are going to keep reading, I am letting you know, you MAY get triggered by this post. You may get upset by this post. If you choose to keep reading, please, if you get upset, please seek help and support - not bitch about me behind my back about it, please speak to me, or speak to a support person in your life.

I am here… deeply sharing my process… as I do… and even hesitated writing this, in depth, because…. of the content and nature of it.

This is usually only stuff I share - my deepest processes for my...