Suicide and the Empty HeartJun 16, 2018
Suicide and the Empty Heart
There has been alot about suicide coming to my awareness again recently, with celebrities and more and even though I have spoken to this in the past, I feel called to deeply share this here now.
The thing with suicide is that one simply has lost Life Purpose. The Heart is completely shut down, there is a huge barrier and wall around ones Heart. The Heart is deeply connected to your Life Purpose.
It's your desires, your joy, your fun, your LOVE - for self and others and life itself.
When you shut down your Heart, that's done to protect oneself from future pain, but when you do this, it also blocks out any future love and care to come IN and THAT feels very isolating. It creates a big cold cave.
Why does one shut down their Heart? Yes for protection - so you don't get hurt again right? This can stem from childhood or a relationship that wasn't very nice (or other things!)
What happens here, when you shut down your Hearts desires - cue, fun loving, care free and excited child running through the house feeling excited with life, parent comes home tired and has had a bad day at work and yells at child,
'Stop that noise and stop running around.'
Child freezes and shuts down JOY (they were having fun right?!) and their Heart. Because they want to be accepted by the ones that are their idols, because also from a survival mechanism - if we are 'kicked out of the tribe' - we die.
(Btw - something to say to your child in this scenario: "Honey, Dads had a huge day at work, isn't feeling very well and is needing quiet, can we do running around tomorrow? It is quiet time now, can we draw a picture instead?" Example... insert what feels right. You've stated what is going on and what is needed and given a suggestion.)
What happens here is that you step into a role that pleases others (say yes, when you really mean no) and receives acceptance and love from others. Roles are many and can range from care giver to people pleaser to scapegoat (so many more!).
So for example, when you lose that role - you also lose the love and acceptance right?
So the key is to learn how to do this without the need for it from others (this stuff should be taught in schools, oh yes, that's what a part of I want to do on this Earth, change the schools 😉)
With these roles that you step into - eg - you become quiet as a child in the above scenario and become the 'servant' or 'caregiver' to make sure that parent is happy, because no child doesn't like seeing their parent unhappy.
That child may feel guilt that they've done something wrong (even though they haven't) - but they don't understand the big adult world yet, and so shut down their Heart, so they don't upset anyone, and step into a role that will receive the love and care they are so deeply craving and is their survival at this age.
The thing with shutting down the Heart - the LIFE FORCE of you living right? What happens when your physical Heart shuts down - you die.
When you close down your spiritual Heart - THAT feels like death.
So you grow up in this role, and say you are the care giver - you care for everyone but yourself, you feel tired all the time, quietly resentful, may be carrying more weight than you'd like but you also feel loved right? In a way....
Do you feel fulfilled loved?
Deep down, life FULL loved?
Or is a surface love, is there an emptiness still inside for some reason?
Ask yourself, 'Who would I be - without this role?'
If that scares you, time to face what is really waiting in your Heart beautiful Soul.
Imagine if this role was taken away from you - so if you are married and that becomes your identity, your self worth (because you are loved and 'have it together', 'fit in with society' - because that is what you do, right?)
That's why alot of suicides happen after relationship break up (or big life change).
No - it is no ones fault!
What I am saying here - is that when we can recognise in our own selves, the deep empty hole and fill it with our SOUL aka Life Purpose -
We release these roles....
We step into the highest version of ourselves.
We have our Life Purpose to wake up to everyday.
We FEEL that our HEART is ALIVE.
Because if you are feeling unsatisfied with any area of your life right now, you are also probably feeling empty in some way.
Check in - what role are you ATTACHED to?
The thing with Roles, is that we become attached to them - ie - they become who we are. And then when we don't have that anymore, our whole world falls apart and we feel lost, without purpose, don't want to be here anymore and this USUALLY comes with some great big life change.
- A relationship break up
- A loss in job
- A loss of a person
Just to name a few...
We are attached - because we don't know how to love ourselves and be comfortable with who we are - without this role.
The thing when a role releases itself it is just our Soul wanting us to wake up and live our Life Purpose, that is all.
To find purpose again.
To find meaning again.
To find LIFE.
To find - your HEART - that you shut down so long ago, because in some way shape or form you were told that your Heart's desires were:
- too loud
- too sensitive
- too emotional
- too much
- too deep
- too crazy
- too out there
- too - you name it
Your Hearts dreams were too much of 'you can't do that, that's impossible, get a normal life and job' - and so we listen to them over our Heart (because we don't want to be kicked out the tribe, basic core survival instinct) and hence the empty life - wait, hang on - it SEEMS to be full - until it is GONE.
And then we wake up and realise and wonder what the f&*k just happened.
Because we were so attached to an idea, a role, that is 'what society accepts' and when we listen to that over our Heart, then it leads us down a path that if woken, finds us in total disarray of so many feelings.
Yes, life changes trigger this in a cause to wake up and live our Life Purpose, but if we don't have the correct support around us to understand and know the truth of our emotions, how to work through them then we can end up also attaching to the feelings of worthlessness and pain and emptiness that is beyond anything ever felt. And when you attach to them, that is when you don't want to be here anymore.
The other important factor here?
Is that all these feelings?
ARE JUST ENERGY. Yes, they are valid and important to you and that is where someone to listen to your HEART without judgement is important to have around you. (that's me 😉and more in the world, you just have to find your tribe)
Just as meditation teaches us to observe our thoughts - we need to train ourselves to observe our feelings without acting on them. (yes it comes with training/practise!)
The thing here - is I am not saying - if you are happy in a marriage, that you are not living your Life Purpose! NO!
Please hear this...
YOUR LIFE PURPOSE IS WHAT BRINGS YOU ALIVE - ONLY THAT!!!!!!!!
And if that means happily married and totally devoted to your family - TRUST THAT!!!!
And then - people can be so unhappy BECAUSE they don't have that.... and yet - is that also a role you are wanting to cling to 'because then you've made it' - right?
I am not saying that wanting a relationship is 'bad' - I am saying -
FIND YOUR HEART BEFORE entering into ANYTHING - then anything can be taken away and you STILL HAVE YOUR HEART and its connection, desires and feels FULL and nothing can shake that.
Everyone's Life Purpose can feel so elusive - simply because they are trying to find something 'out there' and 'be like others' (hello role that makes you feel accepted again!) and this can cause for so much pain - because what this does?
Is make you feel worthless.
Not good enough.
Not - like them.
Yet honey, you will never be like them - BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU!
And you have a Divine and Unique Life Purpose and the ONLY thing stopping you is believing you are good enough to have what YOU want, what your HEART desires - that includes crazy ass dreams and ideas that aren't even a reality on this planet yet!
The KEY here - is finding TRIBE that TOTALLY GETS THIS and SUPPORTS your ideas - with JOY! And encourages you to follow them. (if you're not in my free Reality Awareness Support Group, come and join that here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/realityawareness1111 )
When you have your Life Purpose - you want to get up in the morning.
You have a reason to live.
When you are not living your true Life Purpose you may feel empty. Like something is missing.
And nothing can fill that hole. No amount of your choice of addiction can fill that space.
ONLY YOUR SOUL CAN FILL IT.
We attach onto things that make us feel whole - relationships, status, marriage, fame, - what is your identity of choice?
Do you feel like you would die if you didn't have that identity??
If so - start to recalibrate into your HEART.
Because your Heart is calling you somewhere you just need to be paying attention.
Sometimes we don't know what brings our heart alive because we are so far lost in the attachment of what we think we need to feel worthy to BE...
Hence when the attachment/addiction is gone/taken away - we feel so lost, don't' want to be helped even and then this is where suicide happens.
The point I am sharing is:
What are you so attached to with an identity that if you didn't have it, it would feel like death for you?
It is here, you can start to remember who you really are, what your heart desires, and LIVE that. Freely. Without shame, guilt or more.
If you are worried reading this, please send me a message! Or come and join my Facebook Support group as mentioned: https://www.facebook.com/groups/realityawareness1111
Where does your Heart need a voice?
What is your Heart wanting to share?
With any change, we go through the Grief Cycle - and that is around 4-6 stages of emotions, that doesn't have a definite timeline and they can come back at any stage AND we get stuck in a stage, if we don't even know what is going on here - hence the feelings of lostness feeling even more like death to our Heart and Soul.
The 4 Main Stages are:
- Shock (No I can't believe this is happening!)
- Anger (can drop into blame of people for the situation happening, reality starts to hit home and so does the hurt/tears/pain)
- Bargaining (all the regrets, 'I should've done this and it wouldn't have happened')
- Depression (feeling down and how lost all of life seems to be, what has been out of whack until now, how far 'out' you've gone and everything is a mess)
- Acceptance (starting to get on with life, doesn't necessarily mean happy, but starting to get on with it)
Now - these stages, don't necessarily happen in order - but they are important to understand, so you can learn to support yourself, when a big wave of sadness hits for example - there is nothing wrong with you, there is just feelings your heart is feeling - that is all.
And feelings are energy and energy is always moving, you just have to learn to know how to LET it move through you.
With love, compassion, kindness and care of course.
Just how you've always wanted to be treated, loved and cared for, right?
You might go through these stages of the grief cycle really quickly and 'move on with life' and then in 3-4 months time, all the emotions are triggered and you find yourself in a mess again - depending on the situation of change you are grieving - and it is here, you just ride the wave again, knowing how to do so with these emotions.
Yes, this may be new for you, and it can be tricky to even know what or how to do this - support yourself - LOVE YOURSELF even?
Because at it's core, this is what it is about.
Caring for yourself.
Allowing your HEART to do what it wants, to have what it wants and desires - without being shut down in any way, shape or form.
Because your Heart is DEEPLY aligned and connected to your Life Purpose.
If you want to find your Life PUrpose, listen to your HEART.
What is it saying to you?
If it is full of pain, let that pain out safely with someone who gets it! (Send me a message if you want to work 1:1 with me and help you shift through this and Awaken Your Life Purpose)
If you think somebody needs to read this, please send it to them, share it on your wall and get this word out there.
There is great power in the Heart - we just need to know how to use it for it's power!
The Life Purpose Queen 👑
P.S. This downloaded so strongly with me to share with the world and with it - to open the 12 Divine Steps to Awaken Your Life Purpose for 48 hours at a crazy low price to help you use your POWERFUL Divine Heart and get you living with PURPOSE and LOVE again.
That's Divine LOVE that you feel sooo solid in your connection, nothing sways you.
You FEEL - yes.
Yet, you know what to act on and not to act on.
To get clear on your Life Purpose and Awaken it, to support and find your Soul again, jump in now, whilst this is only open for 48 hours! Click here for all the details: https://realityawareness.mykajabi.com/p/12-divine-steps-to-awaken-your-life-purpose
P.P.S. If you want to work 1.1 with me, send me a message. I can hold your heart. Deeply. Love xx