This time, 8 years ago - I was about to move home, to Perth. Where my family is. I had lived in Queensland, with no family for 12 years at that time. I had a daughter who at the time was 3 years old and everyday I questioned what I was doing, living on the other side of Australia raising my daughter alone with no family around.
The only thing that kept me ‘stuck’ was that her father lived close by, yet that didn’t stop me. I was looking at rentals and was going to move home I had decided.
Two weeks passed and as our Summer morning ritual continued, we went to the beach in the pram as I had no car at the time as this was peak time of me choosing to not have a car that my ex had given me and was somewhat his ‘control’ over me. I had chosen to release any hold that he had over me and giving his car back and going carless, catching the bus everywhere with my then 3 year old daughter in the pram was what I was willing to do. I was willing to do whatever it...
Oh babe, come on... seek in YOUR heart, not mine...
I say that, I feel there is a connection there between us, yet what you are feeling, is a connection with your own soul, your own heart - and the love and attraction you feel is a love and attraction to a version of yourself that you need to own, step up to and BE in this world - THEN you will attract someone who reflects that to you, you don’t need to look for love you need to BE love… I hear there is a deep longing in your soul to be loved, to be needed to be honoured to be cherished… yet - are you doing this for yourself? When we are searching for that counterpart - you will only seek emptiness… for you are empty yourself, seeking to fill a hole. Yes, it is a very real human need to be loved, held and cherished…yet.. what areas of your life are you neglecting that you are needing to turn this love, acceptance and cherished energy towards?
Open-mindedness that the possibility that there is that...
I FORGET IT AFFECTS ME TOO
Sounds silly right? Yet, I do.
Right now, we are in this portal that I keep talking about. If you look back over the years, this time of year is always quite.... shedding one could say.
It is when we are either going into a caterpillar cocoon into the darkness - or are the seed in the darkness of the soil that we don't realise is a seed about to hit the surface and feel the light again...
We are coming out of the cocoon already, or we've already broken the surface of the soil and are feeling the light again.
I will keep reminding you that we are in this portal of Halloween/Samhain - this is the marking point of heading into the dark winter... in the Northern Hemisphere of course.
Then, on top of that, we are heading into Scorpio... one of the darkest Astrological signs for the simple fact that it is DEEP, dark, mysterious and mighty sensual.
Many are experiencing right now:
I just wouldn't even go there now...
Yet, if I didn't learn what I did back then, if it didn't destroy me back then... well, I know it would've come forth at some point in my lifetime and I am grateful that it did, when it did and... I even feel nervous sharing this.
I also know, that all my experiences have led me to this place now, to have this acute understanding of relationship dynamics, of energetic understanding and for that? Well, I guess the pain was kinda worth it!
When I was fumbling my way around, fumbling my way in the early days of building my business online, this July, marking 4 years from the very moment I opened the online course program I had bought to teach myself how to do it... there was, a lot of... fumbling around... not even, in the online gig scene.
This was... fumbling around in relationships!
I JUST WOULDN'T.....
I see now? That this entire journey online? Has been my journey through Healing My Inner Masculine.
Follow Your Heart
Doesn’t always mean it is the easy way or that it makes logical sense following your Heart.
It does mean the fastest evolution for your Soul’s growth.
It does require you to feel your Heart to receive the full lessons of your Soul's growth.
It does mean that by feeling your whole Heart, you are able to receive those lessons and grow deeply through and from them.
It does mean that your Heart muscle becomes stronger each and every time.
It does mean, that your Intuition becomes clearer and stronger as a result.
It does mean, it get's easier and easier to CHOOSE Joy.
Because that IS a choice.
And that choice get's easier and easier, that muscle becomes stronger and stronger - the joy muscle.
Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it feels like...