I just wouldn't even go there now...
Yet, if I didn't learn what I did back then, if it didn't destroy me back then... well, I know it would've come forth at some point in my lifetime and I am grateful that it did, when it did and... I even feel nervous sharing this.
I also know, that all my experiences have led me to this place now, to have this acute understanding of relationship dynamics, of energetic understanding and for that? Well, I guess the pain was kinda worth it!
When I was fumbling my way around, fumbling my way in the early days of building my business online, this July, marking 4 years from the very moment I opened the online course program I had bought to teach myself how to do it... there was, a lot of... fumbling around... not even, in the online gig scene.
This was... fumbling around in relationships!
I JUST WOULDN'T.....
I see now? That this entire journey online? Has been my journey through Healing My Inner Masculine.
Follow Your Heart
Doesn’t always mean it is the easy way or that it makes logical sense following your Heart.
It does mean the fastest evolution for your Soul’s growth.
It does require you to feel your Heart to receive the full lessons of your Soul's growth.
It does mean that by feeling your whole Heart, you are able to receive those lessons and grow deeply through and from them.
It does mean that your Heart muscle becomes stronger each and every time.
It does mean, that your Intuition becomes clearer and stronger as a result.
It does mean, it get's easier and easier to CHOOSE Joy.
Because that IS a choice.
And that choice get's easier and easier, that muscle becomes stronger and stronger - the joy muscle.
Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it feels like...
REMEMBER YOUR WHY
Why did you even begin?
When you get shut down, lose yourself and FORGET WHO YOU ARE - you also forget why you even started!!
There are things that pull at you, push you aside and tear your heart out... trample it into the ground and leave you in a crumpled mess....
TO remember who you are - I guess!!!
I was so focused, so clear about my WHY and recently... I forgot my WHY.
I remember years ago, when I was 20, I was involved with a network marketing company and they always talked about a WHY.
Back then, I guess my WHY wasn't strong enough.
Yet - I also realise why it wasn't back then...
Because I 'was selling their thing' - not my own.
My gift, my passion, my life purpose IS my WHY.
And recently I had forgotten that.
I had forgotten my dreams - recently.
I was deeply focused - sooo focused.
I had just started to crack the code, just started to make headway, understand why on Earth...
Protecting Your Heart, Protecting Your Energy
The word ‘protecting’ is a bit contradictory - when it comes to talking energy and your feelings for -
The more you 'protect' how you are feeling
The more you try and 'protect' others how you are feeling, or wanting to protect them from something that is going on that is making you hurt, you are actually:
~ denying the truth of how you are feeling
~ closing off your heart
~ closing off to the people who mean the most to you
~ isolating yourself
And what actually happens in this space, is that the people you are protecting from feelings, actually don't feel protected - they feel abandoned, isolated and actually feel the energy you are trying to protect them from - more deeply.
Because energy is energy - it is a bit like the shadow, whatever you are trying to hide, push away and 'not think about' (pink elephant anybody!?!) get's stronger - it's right there.
Whether you are...
The Rose Bush Analogy
So many of society are walking around with closed Hearts, hunched shoulders and sad minds. And these closed Hearts?
They have either a shield of armour protecting them, or shields or concrete walls or something similar.
Because honey, most people don't know how to protect themselves from getting hurt again. (btw, spiritual protection and protecting your energy is a bit old school these days! But that's another post!)
You see, the only thing that is real is LOVE. So when you close your Heart due to past pain from relationship hurt, trauma or otherwise, you do so to protect yourself from getting hurt again right?
Well, it doesn't quite work like that....
You may think you are protecting yourself from getting hurt again, but what you are actually doing is shutting the LOVE out that is present right now in the right now babe!
Because all that is now is Love. Someone gifting you something, someone saying you look good today, someone offering to carry your bag for...
What if, I was becoming more kinder and kinder with every word I spoke to myself and others, even in my mind?
What if, I was really mindful of the energy I am creating around me - by the way I think and talk about myself and others to other people?
What if, I decided I only saw the good in others and ignored the rest?
What if, I was so clear in my energy and boundaries that I was able to say no easily to what is not aligned with me and my life?
What if, everything I thought about happened in my life?
What if, I realised my true power is this?
What if, the magic began, when I began becoming so, so kind to myself?
What if, my life was filled with joy and love?
What if, my life was completely mine by design - every single aspect of it?
What if, my choices were automatically elevated to the highest version of myself?
What if, my life was filled with so, much, fun?
What if, my life was so easy and full of flow?
What if, I became so aware of my thoughts and feelings?
What if, I...
Suicide and the Empty Heart
There has been alot about suicide coming to my awareness again recently, with celebrities and more and even though I have spoken to this in the past, I feel called to deeply share this here now.
The thing with suicide is that one simply has lost Life Purpose. The Heart is completely shut down, there is a huge barrier and wall around ones Heart. The Heart is deeply connected to your Life Purpose.
It's your desires, your joy, your fun, your LOVE - for self and others and life itself.
When you shut down your Heart, that's done to protect oneself from future pain, but when you do this, it also blocks out any future love and care to come IN and THAT feels very isolating. It creates a big cold cave.
Why does one shut down their Heart? Yes for protection - so you don't get hurt again right? This can stem from childhood or a relationship that wasn't very nice (or other things!)
What happens here, when you shut down your...