It's a fine line between 'drama' and having those mighty uncomfortable conversations.
I had an experience yesterday, where someone said to me "Usually I would walk away from this drama, but I am doing this to benefit you."
I replied with,
"Hmmm, yes, it is a fine line with the 'drama' and the really uncomfortable, hard confronting conversations hey?"
It was a big eye opener for me. All those times people threw their hands up in the air with me, brushed them off, turned their backs and walked away... because I was simply having a conversation about some hard, uncomfortable underlying things.
This was so massive.
Another huge shift in - no... there is NOTHING wrong with me.
It was like all the memories flashed back through my vision as they were upping and leaving, dissipating right before me... as I was left sitting there in awe.
The things that flood out of my mouth when I am in full flow of the deep underlying truths that I had buried deep...
No filter required, because the clarity I feel with my new life is exactly this - clear and beautiful.
However, I found myself bawling my eyes out in deep, deep grief last night for over an hour.
It was deep, deep grief, and it surprised me what it dropped into.
My old house and what I went through being in that home for 8 years.
What I learnt and grew through.
The biggest piece being my ex of 5 years and what... I went through with that. What I grew through and the person it has made me today, because of it.
But not a grief of missing it.
Rather, the stored and buried resentment that I had tucked away deep inside my gall-bladder.
Tears poured, out of no where as I climbed into bed. I found myself 'at my old house' in the lounge room on my knees, bawling my eyes out.
I found myself, hovering/flying above my house/suburb, feeling trapped in the black sludge that I felt energetically in that suburb, that I repeatedly cleared for so...
"But I've spent thousands of dollars and it didn't work!"
"Not with me you haven't." I replied.
It doesn't matter if you spend a little or a lot...
What does matter - is the person who is holding the space for you to transform.
I have had many, many people over the years come to me and say that 'psychologists don't work, doctors don't work, no body, not even other healers can figure out what is wrong with me' and yet, again, it depends on the practitioner that is holding space for you to transform.
Anybody can train to become anybody from a book/class.
But how deep are they going within their own transformational growth journey? THAT is the key you want to be looking for.
The best healers, guide you to connecting to your own inner health, inner wealth and inner life purpose.
No body can do that for you.
It is like when I teach Lightfilled Yoga, I ask if there are any new people to my class and give them a disclaimer. If you don't like...
Loving Your Ego to Death... that moment that changes it all...
I cringe so much when I hear people saying 'get rid of your ego' 'kill your ego' 'ignore your ego' and the like...
Whilst this sort of language at times can be helpful when you need strong loving boundaries to get out of a situation, but to have a deep seated belief that you need to rid your ego long term, feels like utter hatred, hurtful and is only feeding the negative energy on the planet.
And yes, our Ego can be negative and nasty... yet, so are aspects of our shadow... and to me, there is no difference here.... ego and shadow are same..they are different aspects that make up our psyche - just like ANY emotion you feel, they are different parts of your psyche - of your consciousness. That's all.
Labels are good for helping to understand and decipher information.
Then your next stage of evolution and dissolving all barriers to your manifestation abilities and your ability to BECOME THE LIGHT THAT YOU ARE -...
I FORGET IT AFFECTS ME TOO
Sounds silly right? Yet, I do.
Right now, we are in this portal that I keep talking about. If you look back over the years, this time of year is always quite.... shedding one could say.
It is when we are either going into a caterpillar cocoon into the darkness - or are the seed in the darkness of the soil that we don't realise is a seed about to hit the surface and feel the light again...
We are coming out of the cocoon already, or we've already broken the surface of the soil and are feeling the light again.
I will keep reminding you that we are in this portal of Halloween/Samhain - this is the marking point of heading into the dark winter... in the Northern Hemisphere of course.
Then, on top of that, we are heading into Scorpio... one of the darkest Astrological signs for the simple fact that it is DEEP, dark, mysterious and mighty sensual.
Many are experiencing right now:
KARMIC FIRE - NO MORE - SCAPEGOAT ROLE - NO MORE The Empath's that think it's their duty or responsibility to carry other people's shit - the blocks that keep us hiding. NO MORE. I CHOOSE TO SURFACE NOW. I CHOOSE TO NOT HIDE ANYMORE. (Didn't realise I still was! Out I COME!)
I release what I have carried of yours right up until this moment in time. I release what I thought was my karmic load to carry - when in fact, I just have been in shock until this moment in time, with the depth of sensitivity that I FEEL.
If you're already resonating with those first two paragraphs - You feel. Oh gosh you feel. The slightest word, the slightest betrayal when you thought someone was your friend, then discover they have been bitching behind your back, the slightest remark of sarcasm when you know they really mean it underneath but laugh it off, but you've been cut to your core because you are so damn sensitive and tuned into other peoples feelings, that how can they even say that...