I FORGET IT AFFECTS ME TOO ❤️Oct 22, 2019
I FORGET IT AFFECTS ME TOO ❤️
Sounds silly right? Yet, I do.
Right now, we are in this portal that I keep talking about. If you look back over the years, this time of year is always quite.... shedding one could say.
It is when we are either going into a caterpillar cocoon into the darkness - or are the seed in the darkness of the soil that we don't realise is a seed about to hit the surface and feel the light again...
We are coming out of the cocoon already, or we've already broken the surface of the soil and are feeling the light again.
I will keep reminding you that we are in this portal of Halloween/Samhain - this is the marking point of heading into the dark winter... in the Northern Hemisphere of course.
Then, on top of that, we are heading into Scorpio... one of the darkest Astrological signs for the simple fact that it is DEEP, dark, mysterious and mighty sensual.
Many are experiencing right now:
- a loss of motivation, enthusiasm and 'whats the point or purpose;
- many feel that the only 'aliveness' they feel is through adrenaline or passion seeking activities
- a sense of aloneness, even the connection to Spirit/Angels/Guides/Intuition seems non-existent or not as strong as it was
- constant crying and tears over seemingly nothing, but this DEEP, DEEP OLD Soul grief at the same time
- a dark hole/tunnel with no light at the end of it
Yet, it is sooooo important to be aware of Earth's Cycles, your own personal cycles and so much more - remember I always harp on about this?
For good reason.
Because when you, as the deeply sensitive, sensual feeling being that you are, the empath who absorbs and senses EVERYTHING - it is so important to understand that 99.9% of what you are feeling is more than you, is not all you, is... bigger than you.
It is like the Universe is it's own breathing Being self and we are feeling it.
Of course, there are our own personal issues, that seem like they are the ONLY issue on the planet and why doesn't anyone understand what the fuck I am going through, let alone - they have NO idea what I am going through how can they say that? May run through your mind more than once... and make your heart feel even worse right?
So, let me share what is going on for me personally and how I relate that to the bigger picture of the Universe coming into a deep rebirth to be 'born' again with these cycles that... are the NATURAL and ONLY constant thing that we experience and when we learn how to relate our own personal issues with the NATURAL cycles that we are a NATURAL part of - this is how we manage to ride these MASSIVE waves and not sink into oblivion at the same time.
You might have heard me talking about giving up coffee. Some may say, you don't need to do that, you only need to do what feels right for you. And this may not seem like such a big deal to anyone, but it is a big deal to me.
When I used to take drugs, I was always the speed and ecstasy girl, they were my go to's. Give me the fast paced high any day. Coffee.. I guess is like that?
For me - coffee has a lot buried under it. And I know I am getting closer to release it... for good. I am not about to give it up before I am ready because I know the going back to repetitive patterns is more damaging on all levels, than waiting until my SOUL YES it's time feeling is there. I would rather work through what I am covering up with coffee and then... the coffee 'need' will naturally lose it's drawcard... just how I gave up recreational drugs.
Last night, I thought about not having my morning coffee today. And... the tears began to flow. It took me back, to the pain, the deep emotional pain of being pregnant with my daughter at 15 weeks and going to court to get a domestic violence order against her father for emotional abuse. The next 4 months, were spent, bawling my eyes out, as I remember laying on my bed or couch, constantly in communication with her about all the feelings I was going through, not to dump them on the little Soul that wasn't even incarnated yet, but to assure her, that I wanted her, it was just unexpected, but I that I was willing to do whatever it took, to bring her here, safely and to protect her from any harm, let alone, her not go through, what I did growing up.
It was the hardest most painful time of my life. No family around, being on the other side of Australia from them all (yes, I could've moved home blah, blah, but I chose not to - this is not a sad sob story about my victimhood - these are real feelings that I chose to walk through).
You want to talk about what Halloween/Samhain/Scorpio/Dark Moon release combined looks like?
The darkest, most hardest feelings that you have buried about relationships and experiences of your past that you haven't consciously dealt with.
Of course, at the time, I was receiving counselling and had mentors helping me through it. I always have. I have never been without a mentor - ever. BECAUSE there are always LAYERS.
When you know how to consciously feel them, work through them - you release them from your subconscious, you release them from being STUCK in your energy field, to freeing them - and therefore your energy too.
Do you see how to work these 'dark' energies that sweep the planet yet?
As I sat on my bed bawling my eyes out.. I let myself feel it. And it dropped further as I must've been asking the question of well, how did I end up here? (the place with Adaya in my belly and walking through the hardest time of my life). (Thankfully, my divine Soul plan, had me training as a Yoga Teacher for 9 months, whilst Adaya 'unexpectedly' grew in my belly, that without that, I am not sure how I would've coped).
And.. that question, led me to when I left home at 18 years of age, packed up every single item that belonged to me into boxes, got in the car with my ex at the time, left Perth, drove across Austraila and never looked back and here I am 16 years later, still in Queensland.
What was prominent in me feeling last night through my tears... was the sense of aloneness, but it was different that just 'aloneness feeling'. It was feeling unsupported, or cared for... or like I had 'anyone there for me'.
I am sharing this - to show you how to 'travel' these threads, that I call them.. these 'emotions' - that - say, for example, for me last night, feeling like I had 'no one/no support/alone/doing it all on my own as a mum' - yet - do you see how that 'current feeling' last night - was a lot deeper - when I let myself 'travel' where that stemmed from? Where the core, main feeling came from?
At 18, I left home, what seemed like as soon as I could. Let alone the fact I had no idea what I wanted to do when I finished school, apparently working in a Pet Shop (where i was very happy working in btw!), wasn't good enough for my family that surrounded me at the time, so I had to leave to do something else. Well, I chose to leave, because apparently I had to do Tafe, or Uni, or SOMETHING.
Yet, driving across Australia is all I ever wanted to do, well, drive around Australia, but I never got that far.
That feeling, that I surfaced felt last night that dropped me into being pregnant with Adaya, that dropped deeper/older into the memory of leaving home at 18, the 'why' I left home, was that same feeling.
Not feeling supported in my choices, not having anyone there for me, doing it all on my own, even though I was surrounded by family and three younger siblings.
How do we clear it? How do we 'fix' that feeling? How do we change it?
We don't 'DO' anything... we simply feel it..... consciously.. with awareness.
With deep presence and love from your own heart and sometimes that means bawling your eyes out crying until you fall asleep.
It isn't a bawling your eyes out crying with feeling sorry for yourself or dropping into victimhood.
But a deep presence and consciousness that YOU are there for you through your tears, that YOU are consciously there, listening to that inner teenager, that has felt like she has carried the load, all by herself since she was... probably a lot younger than a teenager, because as an adult empath... she was once a child... and that's a lot to carry.
It's easy to judge others when they are feeling 'surface' emotions - of course, the current issues for that person are deeply real, authentic and true for that person. Yet, when we can have this awareness and travel it to it's core - it shifts it at the core and all the issues that are on that same 'thread of emotions' - clear it - therefore energetic deep core shifts occur, not just the surface issue - that will continue to rear it's head time and time again right?
Do you see, how you can use these 'dark cycles/energies' to shift you? Rather than swallow you up?
They serve a purpose - you just have to know how to use them. And of course, the exact skills, techniques and know how is exactly what Trust Your Intuition is and what I teach you in there, let alone train you as an Intuitive Healer - because this is how you not only help yourself, but Humanity at the same time.
You can see, why I am waiting until that Soul YES feeling is there to give up coffee?
Do you see, that... it won't even be that when the time comes?
Do you see, that... I just won't even want one, because I don't have deep feelings to cover up?
That coffee... is my coping mechanism, my nurturing of self, my... support?
Yet, when I release the feelings underneath... natural ways of 'coping' happen, because the deep hurt/feelings underneath - aren't there anymore - so there is a natural lightness that has filled the space - why?
Because I took my Heart, my awareness, my light there with my tears, holding myself deeply and gently feeling.... all of it.
The natural lightness... is a feeling of support... of love... of care... because I took myself there.
And until you feel that WITHIN yourself?
You will never feel supported, loved, or cared for from ANYONE.
No matter how much someone tries to genuinely help you.
It's an inside job.
This may help you, if you are trying to help someone and they can't see it, feel it or receive it. You see the other perspective now. And now you make a choice, to do you instead, no matter how hard it is to walk away, because that person, will never feel the love, support or care from you - no matter how hard you try. It is an inside job.
Let me know, if this perspective of the 'darkness' has helped you?
Please share, if you feel this can help someone through this passage we are all walking and breathing together.
The Life Purpose Queen 👑
P.S. There is only 8 more days, before both Trust Your Intuition and the Inner Circle investment increases... if you are truly wanting to master your reality and come into your divine power to support others without being drained yourself and TRULY change the world, this is your divine key, awaiting you... to take it and unlock the door - it is right in front of you precious one.
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